i want

wings

my one and only

friend and lover with strength and sentimentality, beautiful individual with positive energy and sensitivity, confusion and fears, pessimism and cowardice, bravery and imagination... collaborator in art, words, music and life... my hero would be the individual angel who would risk everything and fear nothing for their love for me and so would i... my hero would choose me and take me...

... and i would give more and more...

my pages plenty, rich, continuous

amrita, kitchen (and all banana yoshimoto's fictional delights) now is the time to open your heart, in the temple of my familiar, maya angelou's biography, the way i found her, i heard the mermaids singing, the time traveller's wife, the first rasta, princes amongst men, the comedienne, the bell jar, dorothy parker's bittersweet poetry, marguerite duras's intense and deeply erotic true tails, gil scott heron's all writings (set him free, you philistines; he is an angel), frida kahlo's diary...

a small fraction of the books that i have read and like...

the moving image in my world

wings of desire, paris texas, in the mood for love, the night porter, clubbed to death, irreversible, addiction, the funeral, la haine, the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, frances, walk the line, down by law, ed wood, hedwig and the angry inch, pecker, the hairdresser's husband, delicatessen, amelie, artemisia, betty blue, diva, les nuits sauvages, la vie en rose, the chorus, wild side, vacas, the red squirrel, all the federico fellini, derek garman, peter greenaway masterpieces, all the david lynch surreal creations, especially blue velvet and mulholland drive, pedro almodovar's miraculous spectacles, especially, women on the verge... and all about my mother, hal hartley's visual books, john cassavetes's intense and fearless introspections, theo angelopoulos's poetic greek dramas, the vintage gems from the 20's silent, pandora's box, to the 60's technicolor, the grass is greener (all the hollyhood divas, especially, rita hayworth, bette davies, joanne crawford and katherine hepburn...) all the black and white 60's greek movies especially the ones with jenny caresi in) and some 70's musical ones with aliki and michalis; yearning memories, rest in peace, cinema paradiso, one from the heart, out of africa, the way we were (for love, politics and a good cry), last tango in paris, orlando, yes, head on, bent, aimee and jaguar, lola and bilidikid, torch song trilogy, lilya4ever, time of the gypsies, black cat white cat, the rockers, mystery train, sin city, pleasantville, the matrix trilogy, P, requiem for a dream, before night falls, happy together, chungking express, the dancer upstairs, the ring 1 and 2, world cinema, from europe, africa, china and the americas all the way to some of australia's and new zealand's finest independent...

some of the films that i like...

some of my plethora of music i live to love

bob marley, the abyssinians, the gladiators, black uhuru, i- threes, les ethiopiques, gigi, shuggie ottis, charlie mingus, miles davies, john coltrane, the roots, the fugees, maria callas, klaus nomi, nina hagen, diamanda galas, molly nillson, laurie anderson, planning to rock, patti smith, lara fabian, zazie, emilie simon, marc almond, nick cave, tom waits, frank zappa, tricky, the knife, tiger lillies, tryo, francis cabrel, les rita mitsouko, marianne faithfull, kirsty mcoll, donna summer, grace jones, candi stanton, angie stone, erykah badu, ESG, nu disco, rare gems of imagination and uniqueness, chicago house, detroit techno, cutting edge experimental minimal, johnny cash, patsy cline, elvis; the one and only king (love him tender), the doors, janis joplin, deep purple, jefferson airplane, velvet underground, iggy pop, AC/DC, gogol bordello, the smiths, joy division, zero 7, the cinematic orchestra, cocteau twins, dead can dance, kronos quartet, tuxedomoon, st. germain, st. etienne, massive attack, chicks on speed, the B-52's, madredeus, the gotan project, eleftheria arvanitaki, tania tsanaklidou, haris alexiou, arleta, manos hadjidakis, othon mataragas, mary and the boy, misia, mariza, rachid taha, natacha atlas, world music from north africa and the balkans (i include greece, here) all the way to the americas, chopin's piano sonatas, bach's fugues, mozart's concerti, verdi's political and powerful operas, all the baroque boys, especially purcell and monteverdi, all the girls from the blues, especially, dinah washington, etta james, bessie smith and billie holliday...

some of the music i like

cinema, books, hard undiluted fun... partying and a stimulating conversation full of passion and essence, leading to..., knitting and generally making beautiful things, styling, dressing up, high heels, ties, accessories, such as canes and necklaces, sunglasses and monocles, all sorts of adventures and experiences, cutting it fine, extreme situations in love and money, mental and physical travelling...

some of the life parts i like

... and the sun is shining...

another perfect morning

it is her birthday today... i wished her on time... midnight, my lunchtime

i miss her

sending love and treats...

solid

connected

alive and clean

and yesterday, she knocked on my virtual door!

i am so happy!

i'm feeding her with a journal, unravelling bits of my life and day all the way across the seas; she loves them! (her words)

what a difference - i can see what a necessary catalyst that transition has been and it is still in process and progress...

and i'm around...

... for a brilliant result...

alignments

eating well is important and that was today's lunch

today, it feels different:

i got on with the queen Bees stuff and the ob events... that kept me focused

she is all over my thoughts

i kiss and look at the ring, feeling it in my fingertip often

last night i dreamt that her tick was green - skype-

i walked to the shop, to get something sweet and i could see things more clearly; my predictions correct; i have nothing to worry about, nothing to lose

(astro) barry wrote some promising stuff about the venus and jupiter conjunction in pisces! since 1998

i had a couple of inspiring conversations about art and love with two different people

i haven't smoked

i feel strong

i feel sad

however, i do understand the necessity of the situation

i love and

i feel loved

the plane is taking her down under... for the time being...

she said it's best at the moment

i hear her

but i'm sad

tears running down my face in burst moments: through a song, a friend's kind word, a memory...

i miss her desperately

i love her intensely

and i am around

in my heart i feel joy (with my feelings) and extreme pain (with her absence)

fragile and robust at the same time

i want to shout, but i choose to remain silent

for her

more love

more understanding

more space

and the ring

circle and promise

a symbol...

... love...

beetroot and two kinds of cabbage, barley, string beans and herbs soup with a dollop of vegan butter

8pm

scared and excited

as it should be... brilliant!

a new flame

and nothing she can do can do me wrong

we saw

we spoke

we hugged

we scheduled

i feel the force of something sweeping me away

it is good...

one of the good quality birthday cards i was given from mystique

5/2/10

blues are for sunday and so is brunch and papers and hands held

sudden thinkings

detaching

autonomy

love

RVT, 2009... black beads in my mouth...

i am a lucky girl

today, it is my birthday.

time by accurist is 00:17 am on a friday 5 february.

i am sitting in front of the computer, listening to the one and only patti smith on spotify; one of the women, who i admire, whose music has coloured one of my performances.

i am dressed , but my hair is still down.

i got pleasantly distracted.

from the person who i love.

and like.

and get annoyed by.

and want.

and miss.

and think of.

we have been talking (virtually) since three o'clock in the afternoon.

she was tired, sleepy from the previous night's shenanigans, with her burnt feet, she stayed up to wish me happy birthday and ask me what i was doing the next day... in detail... so she can imagine it perfectly.

that was my birthday present.

sweet melancholy is replaced by happiness.

i am smiling.

i am going to bed.

loving is good.

so is to be loved.

i know a few 5ths of febs celebrating today; friends and rivals. i wish them all a very good quality birthday.

peace, love and baloons enough to take us all up in the sky of diamonds... X

00:26 am 5 february 2010

another link

TRUE BLOOD is one of the best series i've watched in... ever! slick, well thought out, real, sexy with great plots and twists and story lines... i've watched both series back to back, the second one in parts with my favourite company to start with... vampires and blood, the night and the mystery and the fear, love running deep and lusty moments for the necessary anxiety... cannot wait for the third series, but i can only watch them, either alone or, most preferably with the one who has my second series in their vicinity... one day/ one night... for many...

the vegetable box

nurture

she told me that the vegetable box, which arrives on my doorstep every thursday and the true blood series are two things to be happy and not cry about...

lovely

in the kitchen in the house of brockley, cooking magic

the true blood series 2 watched back to back till the early hours of yesterday morning

dead can dance on spotify

i wish...

i would have liked...

polenta and lightly sauteed mushrooms and greens

pearl barley stew with carrots and asparagus and other treats

a piece of work

the devil is in the detail, my dear and i've said all that before...

stav B november 2009

london se1

kurt geigers

graham sent me a card once (on the boiler now) a long time ago and it wrote:

hear hear (but i don't agree... most of the time)... plus that was a long time ago...

bethnal green working men's club

with my chie mihars

good quality shoes are important

a fraction of bob bob ricard's wallpaper(our christmas breakfast. december 2009)

time for breakfast with charlie

post performance...

i am not perfect, but i'm perfect for you.

fast, intense, direct, hard, with the highest of expectations, idealist to the core, dangerous, honest and passionate, self - absorbed and narcissistic, glamorous and spectacular (for fun, art and the appropriate social shaking), obsessive lovist, positive and energetic, alive fantasist, futile dreamer, perpetually enigmatic, mysterious, my life is a riddle, a visionary: stav B, grecianx, the personae remains one unified person; artist, photographer, live artist, writer, curator, club night/art event organiser, fresh DJ, mixing and cutting old and nu disco, techno, deep house and some old school thrown into the arty set; psychedelic rock and ambient electronica, constantly masquerading, impersonating the other and enjoying every minute of it. grateful for my life, my friends and loved ones, my activities and aspirations, dreams, fantasies and realities... all part of the creative process... give thanks for the love, support and unity and shame for the cruelty and lack of innocence; let's help each other, teach, learn from, love, connect with, stay true and in tune with ourselves, let's really live; pour it all and spread it... Peace... Love (above all). ..

• • Photography
  
  

  visual art, surrealistic influences, going back in time in taking the images; creating my own male gaze, incorporating cinematic narratives, sexual and fetishistic qualities locations and diverse positions; obsessive and dark...

• Performance
  

  the performances/ live spectacles are an extension of the photograph; written and subversibly narrated spoken word,compimented by light, sound, glitter and intense acted out forms of stage behaviour; surprising, spectacular, strong...

i've been scribbling at the back of my notebooks since school. then i painted. then i made collages. then i started making things. the vision of spending a year in a remote greek island, painting, writing and enjoying all the seasons, was my idea of a blissful and successful life...full of words, movies, photographs, drawings and paintings, the power of nature and anything creative, including like - minded individuals, cultured, imaginative and eccentric. my first drawing classes started on the fourth floor of a non descript building in exarhia, the 'anarchic' area of athens. politics and black. art and books. songs and gigs... gatherings...love... i took my dreams, visions, ambitions and two suitcases to london, where art became my true calling; my life, free to explore, indulge, choose and learn. FOUNDATION in sir john cass, BA in camberwell college of arts, MA in london college of communication... space and identity became the protagonistic themes which manifested in drawings and paintings, installations and sculpture, slide shows and films, photographs and performances, where they have remained since. the photographs created a new male gaze and gave birth to live art: the performances are visual pieces, incorporating fine art sensibilities and theoretical considerations; unusual spectacles, including spoken word, lights, sounds, songs, confetti, plates and boxes, spitting fire, satin ribbon and corset, dolls, microphones and thorny red roses, dramatic/ theatrical make up, humour and melancholy, anger and catharsis, sex and sensuality, intellect and style colour them and they are always close to the bone... i conceive, write, produce, plan and execute these pieces and have had the help and expertise of a team of amazing people who made these performances possible: doug haywood (sound), piers thompson (voice/ direction), jonnie elf (art direction), maria garcia (make up), oliver garcia (doll/ corset), as well as all who have filmed and photographed the performances in situ. i am part of the ACTART collective, since its beginning in april 2004, as well as the BEHIND BARS collective since its beginning in may 2006. i have also performed at KAOS, a monthly multi- media/ fetish/ art club, SUBTERFUGE, a live art collective based in manchester and the HAYWARD GALLERY in july 2006, as part of the undercover surrealism exhibition, titled THE MONSTER IN THE NIGHT OF THE LABYRINTH curated by lee adams and ron athey (DVD is now on sale at the gallery and other art institutions). i have performed and continue to perform in underground art/ fashion/ queer/ political clubs and parties... i have performed in ljubljana, slovenia at the 9th queer/ feminist festival RDECE ZORE(5 - 9 march 2008) and have completed a three day event at SHUNT VAULTS (21, 22, 23 may 2008 - curated by marina saura), where i was performing a small and larger piece a night, where the diversity of the audience and its interaction became part of the work itself. i have also completed the photographic project called 'FUCK THE GENDER UP'(continuing the concept of identity and love and being behind the lens), with an amazing subject; 8 photographs at the CLIFFORD CHANCE trans - atlantic pride exhibition in canary wharf, london(26 june - 18 july 2008 - curated by michael petry and nigel frank). the writing of my brand new performance piece called 'walking under ladders' on muse/ lover/ maker relationship, erotic and an onde sensuelle, with heaps of attitude and ample amounts of love, has been completed and i am writing two new performative pieces; 'the cut' and 'the devil is in the detail' as well as djing regularly. i have just returned from QUEERBEOGRAD, belgrade, serbia (18 - 21 september 2008), where i performed and did a dj set. POOPSY CLUB, berlin, germany (30 january 2009) was a very good experience with the rough and smooths... collaborating with queer beograd, performing a sketch written by jet moon at SUBVERSIVE MESSE, linz, austria (15 - 17 may 2009) was an enjoyable challenge...as well as performing at the fresh and new BIRD CLUB... watch this space for more clips, dates and other info and log on to my website www.stav-b.co.uk(which is being updated).