years and years of roaming, experimenting, remaining aware, passing by, to acknowledging, greeting, chatting and talking, flirting, after appearing in mutual social events (mostly my own), to risking, dining, connecting, joining, exchanging, sharing and eventually...
i have said it before and i'm writing it again here, when one door closes, either by choice or necessity, another one opens and when one is willing and brave enough to get rid of the dead wood and let go of the unwanted/ outworn and the downright boring, then... one might experience a little or big, but definite substantial thunderbolt of the explosive and sparkling kind, as neither of us, not even me, know what is around the corner, awaiting, to surprise us...
and suddenly, all the carefully crafted walls of defense and protection, begin to crumble, like sand mixed with water and although, initially painful, the process is eased and the adrenaline kicks in, like thick honey, dripping and coating the freshly toasted and buttered slice...
bliss? at last? frogs and princes? destiny justified? let up? a break given by life? happiness? ecstasy? pure desire? physical and mental challenge? again, at last?
well, it is a yes!
i write with excitement and gentleness at the same time and my perverse appetite is satisfied, despite my early risings and time keeping polishing... what? me?
i take a look and observe my own self... the way i feel and relate and act and behave and i never knew i would be so ripe, so naturally eased and inclined in some fine and good quality camaraderie of sorts; senses titillated and satisfied, personae exposed and a give and take, in action, token and primal offerings...
suddenly, my own monster/ vampire, who needed no one, would not allow anyone in, with some distant, evasive and enigmatic existence, is letting the senses and the veins to take over, pumping, zinging, pinching, biting, licking and kissing, causing some sweet pain and divine pleasure, which lingers in my mind and resonates in my body, even now, that i'm compiling this, for a further understanding, recording and further experiencing...!
hot!
i'm stronger and alert, awake and in a state of urgency and tying up the loose ends for the extension of pleasure, the ultimate freedom and the expression of kindness, intensity and love...
there is no need for declarations, dissections and projections, expectations and demands... we are old enough, wise enough, experienced enough, individualistic enough to know better and do better and we do indeed: know and act... there is honesty and respect, there is understanding and support, there is affection and warmth, there is attraction and depth, there is sensuality and desire, there is style and uniqueness, there is some worry and some protection, there are some tears of joy and some tears of elation... in body and soul...
and for the first time, or in a long time, there is no idealisation, but reality and reality can be beautiful, sexy and clever and substantial...
to be lived and relished and evolved and nurtured... we continue...
i can only count my blessings for recognising something that could potentially, if not already, be very good, very real, very amazing for me (my growth and my warmth)
and i feel that i'm completing my circle, which has been forming for some time now, but that is another post altogether...
thank you.
