it is tuesday everywhere (although this post has been here since sunday and finally amended/ written today/ tuesday) with times and temperatures and moods changing and/ or remaining still...
i have nursed a mild headache since yesterday and i've only just started to notice... it's bearable, but slightly, persistently irritating... i take no chemical remedy for it, stop thinking about it and finally goes away... usually...
i woke up early with a buckled heart and my name attached to it...
i am full of energy (despite the head) and have been active all morning... ordered the new cheese, the bread, the new olives (i am making hummous from them, too), directed the menu changes, decided on the new special cocktail.
getting excited again. re: the bar popping up again and staying open every friday from this coming one (i need and must do it for very self - explanatory reasons)
djing, preparing the new piece of work to be recorded, broadcasting the next queen Bees, preparing the slammer, re - introducing the Platform, all very good and dandy and highly achievable and i thoroughly enjoy conceiving, manifesting, finalising... however...
inside, i feel a bit muddled in between anger (dissipating), disappointment (withering), remorse, kindness, love and care... and still, like before, i'm trying to put my thoughts and feelings into some kind of understanding... alas...
post full moon in taurus, steady, sensual, stubborn, focused (my moon is in taurus, one would have thought that it is a comfortable placement... hmmm)
anyway, it is all very fluid and uncertain, via their certainty and somewhat beauty and perhaps and yet again i must keep still and collected and somehow, allow the circumstances take over
ok
sounds good and appropriate
the chapter has already begun, but do i know how to read it? perhaps i should change my ways of research and mental comprehension... get rid of the struggle between my set ways and the disassociation of it all
snippets of visual and lingual data should be silently welcomed, with the necessary response somewhere, somehow, sometimes... the agony of the competition (really?), the monstrous ego, the relentless protection... futile? purposeful? i shall see... meanwhile, i should enjoy the tiny and brief delicasies, as peace offerings and love tokens with noiseless enthusiasm... why not?
should
need
must
shall
simply do...
deep down, i can see a glimpse of challenge and i am (still) intrigued, till that changes again to the better and or worse...
for now,
i like it
eyes wide shut, heart on the sleeve for the ultimate task of...
i want it to remain a riddle for as long as possible, because... complexities are the key, apart from time and i want to feel alive all the time and properly...
there is a slight, yet lingering smell of skin oil in my surroundings, just came up...
ps the song above (60s bossa nova, i.e new tendencies) is shared
